Bookb

MORE ABOUT ME; MICHAEL DEE Dragging the bee, I’m smoking a joint with Joe Calhoun, Phil Buford, Alan Crock, Steve Casey, & Tony Houche. Tony’s son, Stewart, is called forward, “Stomp that flopping bee.” The bee is close to dying; flopping on the ground. Our marijuana fragrance is in the air. Stoned, I enjoy the smell. Im quitting pot tomorrow. I wish I could count how many times I said that. With a stomp then a drag, the bee sees its last day. Laughing our head off, we pot heads all stomp & drag. Stewart giggles at us. A helium balloon deflates & falls at Stewart’s feet. It has the imprint “Rom 10:9-10.” I fiercely, fiercely wonder what that Scripture is. I almost look it up on my iphone, but I get distracted. I'm tremendously close to googling the Scriptures. Im very close to doing it. But Procrastinate is my middle name. Curiosity is about to kill me. Girls when Justin started driving junk, they became detached. After witnessing 1 his rejections, I commemorated how abandoned my junk left me. By his expression I saw my truth slapped him upside the head, but ego made him TRY to prove me wrong. He certainly never accepted the actuality. He only had fallout attempts, unsuccessful tries. The only way, he found, to revive his shiny sports car days was to get a shiny sports car, which he never did. Justin. Justin. The pretty girls most gathered at my locker on Fridays when I drove a nice truck. But in my junk days Dad said I couldn't date pretty girls in a junky truck. So I only dated a kid Freshman as a Senior & I never got to go on a prom my Junior year. My Senior prom, I was in a coma bc of jealousy of the shiny car drivers got to date, do homework, study. Bc of my junky truck I never got to do any of them. Granny’s calling my promised truck a dream was 100% unintelligible. It was indecipherable. I’d kept my grades average to minimize ridicule. But I couldn’t even do that always working for countless parts, truck payments, & insurance payments. So I unbuckled & prayed for death. That encountered an entirely different realm. I kept Dad on a guilt trip for daily wanting a truck payment. Then he got on drugs. Indebted drug dealers killed him. It was no surprise at all. He was 41. He was heavy into drugs. Justin, my brother, worked with him when he was killed. Then he started investigating Dad’s murder when he, Justin, was murdered. I wrote KILLING MY BROTHER'S KILLER at lulu.com about that. Pray that book makes me $5b in 2022. I want to live in a very quiet, calm, polite retirement home. The last retirement home I lived in was hell! Jeff, the instructor , was always screaming at me. Im not a fighter, or id flattened his nose. A firetruck is blaring down the road. As I think of the ALF, a good thing is that’s where I started taking meds. Where my anger lessened. I still get mad. Dad said you have to drive a shiny sports car to date the pretty girls & pretty girls is all I had. Justin proved Dad’s thesis to be right. He was always dating. His girlfriend's pregnancy proved their was sex. The way my junky truck- all I could afford- made girls so standoffish I became standoffish. Always working for parts and insurance & gas. Granny's calling my promised truck a dream was always echoing in my head. Granny had no care for my grades. All she wanted was my riding the bus. All I wanted was revenge for her calling my promised truck a dream. I wanted Granny to feel my pain. Her lie meant I had no time for homework or studying. I was blinded by my wrath. So there was no sense in what I chose to do. It helps me understand troubled people more. Justin- for instance- quizzically stole our deceased uncle's guns before running from the law. Mom & I had a quarantine party. NOBODY WAS invited! I may get a haircut. Please pray I don’t get a virus. Boiled peanuts. As I recovered from my tbi, a man loaned me a pot & burner. From it I sold boiled peanuts $65 average a night. But nerve damage made the scooper impossible to use. It was too much of a hassle. People were awaiting my very inept scooping. I was clumsily unskillful. Loisetta scoped some, but she left & what she scoped soon sold. I was inadequately industrializing. It had a good start with an ugly finish. I liked the income. On the same land, cutting wood, I was making $30 an hour 1990. I wouldve kept making money if I could've used the scooper. My nerve damage effected my limp & speech. Jg & bg Jack Grizzle was a small engine genius who got a decade for armed burglary. Barry Gerald was a hillbilly who did well with girls. He got 4 of them pregnant at the same time. Both were my neighbors. In jail, pc’s became Jack's focus. He & I put a chainsaw motor on my bike when we were kids. He moved & put an XR200 motor on his go-cart. It could do donuts in the road. Jack worked on small engines 16/7 on summers. Both guys were bff's. Jack decided to take up computers over small engines when he got older. I suggested he do pc's 16/7 as he did small engines when he was a kid. Jack was confounded by that. My cousin, a worldwide pc programmer, was on a pc every spare second in the navy, graduated, then programmed pc's worldwide. I want to be sold in 100% every book store in the world< books. Stolen truck & college. My 89 Toyota pickup was stolen. Pray curses on the thief. College lied about my schedule. The schedule had 65 hrs of homework a day. So I quit & started reading 100 pgs a day. College'd said Uncle said I had to keep the schedule whilst he said he wasn’t asked. It fed my freelancer dream. In 1985, the BACK TO THE FUTURE 1 scientist launched my freelancer dream. Now im writing as much as possible. I am also reading 100 pgs a day. But 1st I work on my writing. I feel a euphoria if I keep my brain busy bc when it’s idle all it can think about is my 224 rejecters. God told me to make them history! That’s rationale. He doesn’t want me condescending myself. I want to be a hermit. That is best. All my married buddies told me that. I remember when I was a 15m busboy. A waitress told me to stay single. Maho- drca, tmc, uga. Marian Hope, my rehab manager, told to put me in uga, put me in tmc. She also led me to Dr Callahan. Both cheated me. Tmc lied about my uncle's permission. I had to keep a 65 hrs homework a day schedule. Dr. Callahan at Emory, left my shunt “.25 short. Marian capitalized off my loss. She was paid off. I am sure of that. Especially the way her Secretary jumped to HER defense. Marian made most her money leading victims to crooks. After I quit college & commemorated man's picking on me, she Acted all worried. I was 1 of her victims. I cn date a rjr. I can’t date a rejecter. God told me to make them history. That was dialogue at the altar. It was hard. The girls must be giving me a preface of our relationship. The fact I’ve been rejected 224 times means I am quite seasoned. I found over time I don’t even like women. I want to be a reading hermit. Ive always wanted to be gay. Especially after my 16th birthday promised truck was a dream fiasco. Granny? Only 1 girl had rejected me before that day. I don’t like seeing that girl either. Thwy jubr broke ^ w me. My uncle broke up with 1. On the school bus, her sister broke up with me. Her brother, an upper Glassman & I then got in a fight, suspended off the bus bc I was so unemotional. I didn’t care she’d stumped me. I was actually glad. Commitment has too many vices. Im not into relationships. Never have been. When she dumped me, I felt freed. It felt like a gain. That’s another thing saying bachelorism is best. Da+j ju 's eerie death. Dad & Justin were addicts with indebted drug dealers. As Papa investigated Dad's case, he got an anonymous call he BETTER STOP. As Justin lay killed, Mom got a call to send him a phone card. Now I must kill the killer(s.) KILLING MY BROTHER'S KILLER AT LULU.COM. That book details what I have planned. When I find him & a rapist in a prior church, they're both dead! That hatred made me a murderer. I dream of killing all rapists. That’s on my bucket list. Da ws trrfdd ot para. Dad was terrified of the paranormal. He was haunted by spirits. Every time my step mom went to a convention spirits haunted him. Dad would go on & on how frightful those weekends were. He was killed as she, Loisetta was at a convention 1.16.99 at Twin Lakes Winder, Ga. Im going to kill his killer. I have lots of killing to do. Kill 1 of mine, I kill you back. I have that personality for a reason. I wn go2a Clare nobody dtd me. I won’t go to a class reunion. No classmate dated me. I am worth more than that. God told me so. Those girls couldn’t stoop to my level? Fine! I’m better off without them! If they only knew. If they only knew. What got in their head? God wants me to make rejecters history bc He doesn’t want me stooping to their level. I am a child of God’s. That means I need to be careful about my gatherings. I do love my rejecters & pray for their blessedness, but most of all they must accept we don’t belong together. Sharon’s idea of just friends. She was allowed to date. I wasn’t. The whole time she was saying we're just friends. But she'd run off girls from my locker. So I released my manhood on college girls out of her presence. That was the pinnacle of my life. I was a high school Senior, she was a Freshman. We weren't on the same realm. I was unhappy with her. My bff was also unhappy with his gf. Dad ABSOLUTELY loved women. That made him frown at my distaste with them. So I started asking f out to get rejected by 223 f. My 1st rejecter was when I was 13. Social distancing. With the viruses out, nobody can get within 6'. I found Kathy is quaranteened yesterday. Mom bought many groceries. I pity restaurant workers. Bosses are crying about sending workers home. I used to work at Sonny's. I quit bc I wasn’t given the time off I asked. He called me back & offered me a raise to return. Sorry, you lied to me. I was 16. Immature. Pray curses on all who have lie(d) to me. Pray Satan gives them agonizing pain. I know im mental. Dad said I can’t date pretty girls & pretty girls is all I had. I drove a piece of junk. He said I can’t drive junk & date pretty girls. So I don’t like them. A piece of junk is all I could afford. When he said that at my 16th birthday party, I was crushed. I could only buy what I could afford. Junk is all I could afford. When I unbuckled & prayed for death, my face was crushed. Experts flew in from NY to set my face. The bones were all fragmented. Group discussion. I was put in a mental hospital; Windmoor. We had group discussions. It was a bother hearing nothing but trouble. But I enjoyed the van ride to it & hearing all the trouble was an eye opener. We are all imperfect. I learned im not as bad off as I thought. My heart stayed broken for all the troubled people. 1 army sergeant was a cross dresser who wore lipstick. Ive always wanted to try that. I want to wear makeup & a dress + be a gay strippers. College male shower was sooooo stimulating! Unreal! I love naked men! 224 f rejected me! It maps my destiny. Meds rescue. Anger kept raising up in me till I started taking meds. Now it lessened but didn’t end. I’m much less expressive. I had to get where I don’t so outwardly express myself. Memories of liars are most bothersome. I create fake scenarios to get mad about. Abraham Lincoln did the same rhing. We're worried/bothered by things that never happen. That’s a huge weakness of mine. Plus, I Hate people to think bad about me. Irene valiums. Irene stayed stoned in my ALF. It was covetous. I like being stoned. I want valiums. Mom: “no!” But I want to be stoned. I appreciate that option. Irene just sat there and stared at the tv. Id like that blessed in a good way. I want to be stoned on valiums reading 16/7. Books are MOST adventurous. Rejecters are most appalling. I get the most life from books. Granny said my promised truck was a dream. I started drinking in response. Then had a tbi. All I cared about was leveling the playing field. I stooped to her level. I wanted her to feel my pain. Granny was something else. I get so mad at her. Why? Bc of her im retired & that’s dreamy. I stay mad at Granny anyways. That doesn’t make any sense. Coronavirus end times. The end is very near. I’m so excited. It’s a prophecy. All prophecies have been fulfilled. This is the end. Earth‘s where 224 rejecters exist. I want on a different realm. I want to stay a bachelor. Can’t like f bc of my 16th birthday promised truck. After I broke down daily, nobody would date me. I came to prefer bachelorism in an RV. Now I want to be an RV Park hopper. I want to be a hermit. So many husbands are jealous of my bachelorism! I felt humility till I saw how lucky I am. Husbands are so jealous of my freedom. When they were engaged, I was so jealous of them. Tn Mtns dream home Robert’s land. I want a lone singlewide. In Tennessee. No, I want an RV. Your guess is as good as mine. I don’t know how this will end. I just love Tennessee. I wish I lived in tn! Most my rejecters are in fl. I have no rejecters in tn. Robert’s high blood pressure. It was sky high. He wouldn’t take medication. He’d be alive if he had! Dr thoroughly warned him! Robert shouldn’t have been against meds. He’d be alive if he weren’t. Mom was fussing at him about that. Mom tried to make him do right. Robert thought government was after him. Quite oddly, CIA flipped Papa's 1000 lb table & had a very stern meeting with him at the VA before we visited him, a top security. They were walking out his room when we got there. 1 set suspicious eyes on me. Justin’s DNA test. His gf proved the baby was his. Justin thought he was a big dog being a daddy. But he lost custodianship & it was very hard. It was too hard. Justin was running from the law. That didn’t stop the drug dealers from finding him. Justin & Dad were with the wrong people. Justin's fainting. When he saw me in ICU, he fainted. Uncle caught him. My head was bigger than a basketball. My death was prognosticated 6 mons definite. In rehab, I had a therapist who had formerly visited me in a coma. She was ABSOLUTELY amazed at how quickly I healed. Prayer is what did it. That’s the miracle. Family had people had people praying for me. I think im 1 of the world's most prayed for survivors. Th f nt a vir. A woman I met at church & I talked till I found out she wasn’t a virgin then 6 more years at 31m I lost my virginity, so I could talk to her. But I had lost connection. But there never was a spark. When I couldn’t talk to her, I was churchy. Then God called me to this ministry. I am writing for a blog + publisher. Now im a gay writer. That’s peace. Robert an eau onth Dr. The 1st dr didn’t return soon enough, so Robert went home. I heard Mom’s rebuking him. His stubbornness played a part in his death. But Drs do need more patients like Robert. Most of a dr visit is spent in the waiting lobby, I think. I saw a decade of drs. Its good to take a book to a drs waiting lobby. Dr defoe’s blabbing my business. As he talked to me, he extremely, extremely loudly discussed my loss of sex stimuli. I could hear & feel nurses outside his door. I was so offended I never returned. I decided I’m gay. Women are very unstimulating. 224 have rejected me. Too good for me runs me off. I want nowhere near a rejecter. Pray they find a man not me. Rejecters are showing they want better.