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play coming. Morning, edie, here’s ur mail. Edie: Florida Power, …. Bert: don’t get mad at me. I don’t sendem. I just deliver them with a smile. Edie: then y don’t… can’t…. Bert: if I could do that, I’d be a rich man. You’re not in some kind of trouble, are u, edie? Edie,: no no, I’m Bert: oh. I know that feeling, I’m so broke I get my cologne from magazines on my shirt. When ppl ask me what it is, I tell them page 14. Edie: well, to tell u Bert: what you need is a little promotion. Maybe you could get yourself on tv. Channel 13’s been spotlighting restaurants lately. Edie: yeah, u gotta be something special to get Charlie Belcher to visit Bert: you’re special. Edies Diner is special. You got Marty’s mother’s apple maple muffins.” Act2 Edie: oh, sit over there in the corner, but try not to get in the way. We are entertaining somebody important right this minute. Bert: hey, edie. Lola told me you were remodeling. This is spectacular. This should bring in more business. Edie, shh, come here. We’re going to get picked for a set for a hallmark movie. We’re trying to impress a Hollywood agent. • Bert: is there anything I can do to help? Edie: well, yes, there is. There’s a man who keeps interrupting me. You can go over there & keep him from barging in. I don’t want him messing things up. Bert: you got it. Bert is on the job. US Postal service always coming through. Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night. Edie: Bert. Bert: well, you know what I mean. I will just go over there & stand guard 56

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