I need to be less vocal about my 48 years of lovelessness. I have never fallen in love & oft express despair over how that makes me feel. I disparage women unintentionally bc the pain it saved me from is so great. 1 couple in church very badly wanted a divorce. Something they couldn’t afford. He, a house husband, expressed great grief about his relationship. I told him I’ve never been in love. A gulf of covetousness filled his eyes. I realized I am then very-very-very richly rewarded to have never fallen in love. My driver this morning said I look 12 years younger than I am, he wishes he did too, & he’s been divorced 5×. That made me especially vocal about my never having fallen in love. Divorced people remarry for the lifestyle they’re used to.
May 30
dream career is writing ministry 2k words a dy 10k every fri proofed sat then mailed to my literary agent sat. who finds the $10 e-pamphlet 300 buyers every wk, then sell the pamphlet on 1m addresses then buy me & Andrea an inner city downtown condo. my spiritual will be fed by my study. i still need social unfortunately. that's fed by st pete senior center. but i often get in trouble by ordering a big black beautiful coffee. i sleep 8-3. last night, i slept 8-1, 5 hrs,so i will lay in bed till 3... 7 hours sleep, which is best. my writing 2k words a day gives me the motive to continue my richard simmons exercise, which are why im always craving sugar, something I get very little of. please pray I get a job freelance writing 2k a day $3k a week funding all andrea & my expenses. most important every $1 i get i give the nearest Christian publisher $.20. tithes are $.10. the richest ppl in my family were the most miserable. look at great papa jb, the town owner. he gave ...
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