i am captivated by God's grace. church had a prayer meeting for me as i laid on the operation table. a gulf of peace flooded me. that was about 29 years ago when NOBODY could understand me. now i am understood by everyone i talk to. that is something i weepingly starkraving mad longed for. i felt this day of intelligibility coming bc i was praying so hard. now i meet drivers & im amazed how abnormally understandable i am. it is a miracle. praise God i have reached this. God led me to 239letdowns to show me i dont want to get married. that shows me marriage is insanely, inhumanely miserable.
May 30
dream career is writing ministry 2k words a dy 10k every fri proofed sat then mailed to my literary agent sat. who finds the $10 e-pamphlet 300 buyers every wk, then sell the pamphlet on 1m addresses then buy me & Andrea an inner city downtown condo. my spiritual will be fed by my study. i still need social unfortunately. that's fed by st pete senior center. but i often get in trouble by ordering a big black beautiful coffee. i sleep 8-3. last night, i slept 8-1, 5 hrs,so i will lay in bed till 3... 7 hours sleep, which is best. my writing 2k words a day gives me the motive to continue my richard simmons exercise, which are why im always craving sugar, something I get very little of. please pray I get a job freelance writing 2k a day $3k a week funding all andrea & my expenses. most important every $1 i get i give the nearest Christian publisher $.20. tithes are $.10. the richest ppl in my family were the most miserable. look at great papa jb, the town owner. he gave ...
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