Book1

I killed a man named Harry. I was told what happened. The reason i lack awareness is im a drunk just like Dad, Papa, uncle, & brother Justin. Justin & Dad hated thoughts of going to heaven bc neither had any friends there. All the alcies in my family passed due to suicide. My favorite was Roger Dooley. He was a spiritual growth self improvement lover like me. Here i lie, )ooking at my top bunk from the bottom bunk. Lawyer Mick Head is let in the cell by Officer Kine Seltzer. We talked about my charge. Mick said Jack Perkins, 39 year old, wasg impartial manly, aggressively unwantedly fondling Misty. It was the nugget that broke the camel's back. Finland Institute of Law graduate Mercedes Bare is Mick's airy, blond assistant. She finds witnesses & bystanders well. She found Star Meeler, a Night Owl consumer. He said he frequents the bar & the night drunk Jack fondled Misty i struck him so hard in the head w a salt shaker it actually killed him. Jack was a commoner, but he was also a nobody. That reminds me of this. My cousin went dancing at the Legion with some of our family members. He was fondling some of our chicks' rear. We blabbed about him & decided to no longer take him dancing with us. I repeat, Jack was unwanted & im very protective of women in my family. Misty is Dad's sister. Florida presiding police chief Zack McDonald summoned my presence. It took 2 hours to get in his office in Largo, Florida. Largo Commission State office complex is where i just arrived. They wand me like i wish they did the school. Deputy Carlie Coe is manipulating the wand. As i sat in Commissioner Holiday's office, my granny's cousin, Court reporter Rebecca Lander's records witnesses' stories. I was blacked out. This is all new to me. Witness Rex Hall said Jack was ruthlessly fondling Misty. He also said several people gave me a round of applause. If Jack was as aggressive as they said, im answering preliminary questions im glad i did what i did. As i was under oath, i told everybody, a jury of 12, i dont remember the scenario, but as i hear it, i boil. Rage fills every cell in my body when i see a man make a woman feel uncomfortable. In high school, i was a junk driving nobody till i was a Senior & got a 4-year old sport truck. The pretty girls, then, let me have my way with them. Then my traumatic brain injury put me out of commission. AJ Willoughby testified he saw me eye Jack a time or 2 before the whole incident occured. He said Jack has been known to grab women's butt. I guess im just as protective of women drunk as i am sober. As i fathom Jack's fondling, im growing extremely irrate. Investigator Bill Setzer comes to my cell. Each of his hands has a green plastic bottle of Mountain Dew. He hands me 1 and sits in my sole chair. Bill introduces himself, says his step son is in this jail for throwing roofing nails in his Ingle's grocery store boss's driveway, & was kicked out of college, illegally parked in handicap, got a speeding ticket, had a dog so hungry he was fined, got a DUI, got caught lying to insurance about his door his buddy backed into. He was caught "Yeah, Goldie, a brown headed investigator, checked his friends out, and found DNA plus his paint on Zee's, a friend's, bumper." "My old friend is Zee. He was in Poison Ivey with Michael J. Fox." "I guess you can tell me what you remember...." "I remember nothing. I was told Jack was fondling Misty, making her uncomfortable. In preliminary court, a guy named Cal Edwards said he saw me mumbling to myself Jack better chill. He didnt. I grabbed a glass salt shaker on my table & bc i daily do my hand squeezer 500 times i have a strong grip, a strong forearm. Cross-examination is brought up. Bill says he has contacts with a Georgia mafia-- Dixie Turf-- and theyre great at planting false evidence not to mention false witnesses. "No, i want to keep it clean." "And spend 10 years in the pen?" "Ok, Bill. Let's talk." "I've resorted to Dixie Turf many times. It's Junior, Phillip, Boweevil, & Jesse. Jesse is very, very impulsive." "But how will i be freed? "We only have a few months before indictment. We need to get your sister, Jamey, to say Jack has been raping her & you've been counaeling her. Weren't you a child psychologist?" "I went from electrician for JR Hammond, social worker in Cobb's Kevin Nash Middle School, then child psychologist in Winder-Barrow High School, Herschel Walker went there. And now i work for the Sonny Boat Yard." "I need to talk to your sister." "Definitely. I hope yall drop these manslaughter charges." Bill farts. "Why are you, a private investigator talking this crap?" "Bc you need to think. Your lawyer--." "Mick Head?" "Yeah. That's right. Mick will come up with more lawsuits. But he gets a hundred percenta the claim." I ask, "What's next?" "There still needs to be a deposition." "You Mick's gopher or something?" Bill doesn't like Mick. They went fishing. He had to bait his hook bc he wouldn't touch a worm. Bill says, "I'll put it this way. I get a chunky cut." "What about a settlement talk?" "Not right now. Not us dealing with the DA. " "All that matters is the verdict." "I sense no sympathy." "Hell nah. He was making Misty uncomfortable." I almost tell him about my seeing a mugger about to mug a woman. I was reading on the Mirror Library curb. Her eyeballs were baseballs. Trained in martial arts. Plus i grew up with Georgia Welterweight David Allen. I crouched taking tiny steps approaching him. My palms by my forelegs. He took off! She wanted to give me some. I shook her off. True story. I'm a foodie. Should've asked for McDonald's. "Mick doesnt settle, you're looking at 9 years." I whimper. "Defense, us, will have to put up with Jack's family. I have a good book. AUDITIONING FOR THE ASPIRING ACTRESS. It'll make Jamey a believable liar. My wife, Angel the bitch, read it & tells believable lies all the time." "How will we get a settlement?" "Dixie Turf'll plant 60 thousand dollars worth of coke in her, Jack's mom's, spare tire." "But how will the report be made?" "Diane will be suspect. Drug dog Sassy will find the coke. Trial will give her a decade. News will cover it. Then Mick will offer a blackmailer to clear the charges. Jack's mom, Diane Dorain, is suing me $1m for slaying Jack. I like the way Bill sounds. City policeman Jud Smith followed me home yesterday from County Deputy Ron Willcox's house. Was he protecting me or was it to harass me? the trial lawyer Tommy Baker may help me. I heard Sheriff already doesn't like me. Judge Ozzy put a warrant on me. He claims im a flight risk. I guess they don't think i have anything to lose. Loisetta Hillburn, my prison psychologist, must've gave reprobate their feelings. Prison psychologist looked dubious as we talked. She kept wanting me to elaborate. Loisetta said Crime analyst Brooke Wall said i punched Jack in his throat after i killed him. Eddie Lee, the spy found a porn movie, my favorite, "Taboo II" in Jack's 79 Toyota pickup. Rumors that im a drug dealer got out. Somebody said Jack was an informant. The police station manager, Andy Woods, walks by my cell. I used to have Science with him. He & his bestie were always throwing paper airplains back & forth across the room. Foreman Lewis Foster wrote me & said he thought i should've claimed insanity. I wrote back & said id kill every woman abuser if possible. I said that bc Dan, my step father, was a wife abuser. He had 6 wives. I got in a fight with inmate, Keith Perkins. That put me in the slammer 2 years. Bill Seltzer is working on getting me out. I dont think im looking at simple assault by any means. I dont think it is aggravated assault either. Hell no, this is manslaughter.i am looking at. I cant believe i actually killed somebody! Instead of napping, i had Foreman Bull lead me outside for a government cigarette. The officer unsnapped a pair of handcuffs and closed the bars behind Devon Starnes, a carpenter who killed a cop. "You killed a cop?" I gulp. Orderly looks at us talk then leaves. Danny Hodges, a security guard, walks by as his ring of keys rattles. Walks through the automatic double doors. John Hardegree, a civil servant, walks up to Danny. They pick up on a talk about a prisoner. It's obviously something they were talking about at lunch an hour ago. I think of hearing Danny recall a civil docket he filed for some dying plaintiff. It sounds a whole lot more interesting than my life. I say, "Mick will be my defense lawyer. Maybe he can do something to make it look like i was protecting myself. There was an article in TBT [Tampa Bay Times] this morning. In Clampton, there was a boy, i think 16 years old, who killed his stepdad, a cop, drunk, & rapist. My psychologist, Ernie Taylor, said he thinks i was raped by my stepdad & that's why, Valentine's Day 93 i unbuckled & prayed to die." "Civil court wouldn't even look at my case. It went federal." I say, It sounds bigger than some old indigent case." As he walks by, Patrolman Larry Mays mumbles, "They still need to appoint a new court case." I look at Devon, "I wish i knew how to negate a trial." "Did you give a full guilty plea?" "Left to the discretion of the judge." Plea bargain sounds good in your case." "My mind is running a hundred different directions." I cough as i scatch my arm, craving a smoke & beer in my right hand. Cooter Brown," Phil Brown, "the bottom floor coordinator, "is always late, but he'll give you some gum if you ask. Feels sorry for us." "Ah hell. I've had a nasty taste in my mouth since i got here." "You ain't the only 1." Private secretary, phyllis Smith, brings a document to my cell. I wonder who sent it. Phyllis left before i could ask her. Jake Buice, a civil servant, came & talked about any complaints i might have. I said i want to hurry up & get through trial. We talked about plans when im free. I said i want to go back to the Sonny Boat Yard. After Jake leaves, voiceless, Devon & i chill out. Misty's mom, Diane, sent me a thank you card. It was delivered by her husband, Postman Ken. He used to be a Kroger butcher. I heard he got fired for stealing steaks. As i sit in Mick Head's office, he says litigation placed civil damages on me for Jack's sister, Joy. She said i messed up a good thing. Jack quit crack & was starting a new life. She was on the witness stand, staring at each person in the jury box, especially the men. I tell Head, "Probate probably has unpredictable proof waiting to slander me." "The litigants are known for that too." Change of venue is possible. Good. Jack is well known in these parts. Mixk said he used to steal bikes in Bradenton, then car hopping, truck hopping, barn hopping, then he started stealing wheels. "Sounds like me. My friend & i used to steal credit cards." "Why just credit cards?" "I mean, ordered credit cards to abandoned houses & then takem to the mall. Blow money there." "Did prosecution know that iny court?" "It was a capital case when i killed Jack. His sisters-- Joy & Cindy--were quick to place peremptory challenges. That got me subpenead. Trial strategy filed for mistrial. I think it's still on rhe docket. That bitch judge Gladys Ramirez filed for a second jury trial. That was left to the discretion of the other judge. It was a plea bargain. Private secretary, Donna Harbin, [who worked the Sonny's Barbecue salad bar 30 years, & got me a job as a bust boy till boss Danny Waltrip lied,] was the civil servant that pressed litigation for civil damages." In my cell, Devon & i have been talking about our teen years. I answer, "Yeah, it was always a blast to steal & grill Papa's deer steaks when I was 13." "You said the plaintiff--." "Chris Woods." "Yeah, Chris Woods, had a redneck taking up for you." "That guy was on the witness stand. He said Jack was always looking for trouble." "I dont know how probate found him." Llitigants were on the news, recalls Devon. "Change of venue is all i wanted." "Yeah, you said Jack hadda lotta local friends." "That's what Mick said." "Prosecution in St. Pete's always looking for trouble."** Capital case Peremptory challenge Subpenead Trial strategy Mistrial The 2nd jury trial Jury p[ol Jury box Summons Reconvene Allegations Domestic violence Law clerk Law student Jury selection Baliff Gallery Proceedings Handcuffs & shackles Defense table The bar in the courtroom Jurors &alternates Criminal case The indictment The formal charge Criminal intent County deputy Fair & impartial State trooper Criminal record Felon Verdict Expunged Negligent homicide Self-defense Premeditated murder. Change of venue Prosecution Capital case Peremptory challenge Subpenead Trial strategy Mistrial The 2nd jury trial Left to the discretion of the judge Plea bqesain Private secretary Civil servant Litigation Civil damages Witness stand Probate Llitigants Change of venue Prosecution Capital case Peremptory challenge Subpenead Trial strategy Mistrial The 2nd jury trial Jury p[ol Jury box Summons Reconvene Allegations Domestic violence Law clerk Law student Jury selection Baliff Gallery Proceedings Handcuffs & shackles Defense table The bar in the courtroom Jurors &alternates Criminal case The indictment The formal charge Criminal intent County deputy Fair & impartial State trooper Criminal record Felon Verdict Expunged Negligent homicide Self-defense Premeditated murder. Pathologist Defer the motion Autopsy Credentials Objection was sustained Deferred Question thev credentials Deferred a ruling Approached the bench Introduce 4 photos Gas chamber For the benefit of the jury Amount of alcohol in the bloodstream Juror number 3 Objected to that line of questioning The judge sees the lawyers in the chambers Plea bargain Nothing further, Your honor